There was the straw that broke the camels back- my life has been dropping bricks.
In the days following my return from Mexico, I have been getting hammered. When I think that this is all that I can handle, there’s more. A lot more, and then even more.
I had barely unpacked our suitcases when it was time to renovate our “new” house so we could move in. For seven days I scraped wallpaper, painted walls, ripped out carpet and disinfected the sprawling 1950′s rambler that had been previously occupied by an elderly man, his chain smoking caregiver, 30+ indoor cats and six months worth of hoarded garbage. Lack of safe floor space meant that my 25 pound 11 month old baby was tied on my back for the duration. At the end of each long day, I returned home to cook dinner for my family.
I felt like I had been carrying bricks.
Moving day was short and sweet and went off without a hitch. Babies tucked in and asleep by eight. When we went back the next day for our horses, the landlady claimed that all of our remaining farm equipment was hers and threatened us with law enforcement if we attempted to remove it. With a terrible sinking feeling, we loaded up our animals and left.
Another load of bricks fell on my aching back.
In the middle of the dark week that followed we met with the doctors for the pre-op appointment. With a three hour drive each way and two babies, it was a very long day.
I bent down lower to pile on yet another load of bricks and tried to find a way to breath under the pressure.
Crying, teething babies that don’t sleep, rotovirus that brings with it explosive vomiting and diarrhea and even more laundry for six days of crushing sleep deprivation and…
Preparing for conflict, law enforcement and possibly violence, armed with wire cutters and will power, we went to take back our fence. Heart pounding, stomach turning anxiety, fear, stage fright, fight or flight adrenaline pumping, we rolled up fences and pulled posts until the sheriff arrived. Chuckling at two girls in muddy boots and dresses, he gave us permission to take what was rightfully ours. She was wrong. We won!
In that moment the bubble popped. I let out the breath I had been holding since stepping off the plane and into the chaos of my rearranged life. The pressure dissolved. Fear was replaced by relief, inner strength and renewed sense of how strong I really am.
And I realized, again, that bricks can’t break me.